Want to be more compatible with your co-workers? Know their communications style.
Workplace communication is probably one of the top issues I hear about as an executive coach. Managers who are dealing with staff that seem uncooperative. Staff who report bosses who pick favorites leaving them insecure. Team members who are unsuccessfully navigating challenging situations with co-workers.
Creating compatible communications in the workplace is probably one of the hardest nuts to crack.
The majority of workplace problems stem from poor communication practices which lead to misunderstandings, ineffective collaborations, missed deadlines, lower employee productivity, poor company culture, and overall lower employee engagement.
We’re already in communications overload
Let’s start by acknowledging the problem is not the volume of communication. Far from it. My clients report their time is eaten by hundreds of emails and calls eating up as much as 3-7 hours a day.
The pandemic has only added to this volume of communications. For those of us (nearly all of us) working from home, the number of meetings we attend has increased by 13 percent. Not surprisingly we are also sending more emails which adds to our current average of spending more than 11 hours a week on email.
If anything, we are more connected than ever – maybe too connected.
And even with this enormous volume of communication, we somehow we continue to miss the mark. A lot of communications does not equal communications compatibility.
So how do we go about improving workplace communications?
If you are looking at improving workplace communications, start with these three key questions.
1. Are we communicating enough?
Building workplace communications compatibility is partly about how often we communicate. Let’s be clear. If a team doesn’t have a regular team meeting or a manager doesn’t have a regular call with their direct reports on the books on a regular basis, you’ve got a problem.
2. Are we communicating the right things?
How often have you written a detailed email to someone asking specific questions and then not getting reply? Or getting a reply that doesn’t answer your questions? Or have you every walked away from a meeting not knowing what was decided on a team call? Getting to a clear understanding is critical to communications compatibility.
3. Are we choosing the right method to communicate?
Communications compatibility is also found in choosing the right methods of communication. For example, providing constructive feedback to an employee is far more effective in conversation than email. Confirming a project plan may be better handled in a written document than oral agreement.
More than other factors, we need to ask about communications style
In my experience, far more than the factors above, creating communications compatibility often hinges on a better understanding of communication styles. So the fourth question below is the one I focus on with my clients the most.
4. What is the communications style of the person or team I am communicating with?
This question is the one we often fail to ask. What do I mean by style? I am talking about how each person in the communication relationship ticks. For example:
How are they motivated? A brain-storming session or the detailed lay out of a plan?
In what environments do they flourish? Are they stronger in a 1:1 situation or in a group setting?
Are they focused more on tasks and results or more on relationships and process?
Do they solve problems by focusing on the ‘right’ decision or more based on what the consensus of the group is?
What information do they need? Are they looking for well-documented facts or focused more on how the project would benefit them personally?
How rapidly do they want to make a decision? Are they ready to move ahead quickly and take some risks or would rather focus on ensuring that everyone be consulted first?
How do they interact with people? Are they focused on building the relationship and connection or more on task in front of them?
All of these and other factors define a person’s style.
The trap we fall into: making our communications style the ‘right’ one
All too often, we focus almost exclusively entirely on our own communications style.
In fact, the trap we often fall into is our preference or even judgment that our style is the ‘right’ style of communication. Because of our different preferences, we will often fall into conflict. Here are some examples:
“Alice is overly concerned with gathering information and data and can’t seem to get the project initiated.”
“Why is Bob always inviting everyone to the calls? We are getting bogged down.”
“It seems Jennifer barreled ahead with the project not really thinking about what the rest of us wanted.”
In short, we show to work giving strong preference to our style either failing or not knowing what style works for is preferred by others.
Communications compatibility begins with understanding style
To get to a place where we are attuned and aligned with co-workers, you want to think far more about the behavioral styles of others.
In other words, you want to practice the Golden Rule but then take it up a notch. You don’t just want to, “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.”
Instead, you want to “Do unto others as they would have you do unto them.” or “Treat others as they wish to be treated.”
To truly dive into the different behavioral styles, you may want learn more about DiSC which is an assessment for understanding different behavioral styles.
What is your first step to building communication compatibility?
You will most likely have different communications styles between co-workers, colleagues, and teams.
Your next step to defining a more compatible communications strategy needn’t be overly complex. It is ideal to start simply thinking about you and one other person in the workplace (e.g. a direct report, colleague, or manager).
Start simply with these questions:
1. What is my preferred style?
2. What is the style of the person/people I am working with?
3. What can I do to create more compatibility between our different styles?
If you want to dive in even further, to learning your communications style and strategies for a stronger approach for your team, feel free to reach out to me.
Read to learn more about workplace communications? Register for the March 2021 three-part online workshop series here.