How to Transition from Languishing to Thriving at Work and Home
Languishing became a well-known term during the peak of the pandemic. As individuals found themselves confined to their homes, away from their workplaces and regular routines, many experienced what can best be described as a sense of "blah." It wasn't clinical depression or utter hopelessness; it was languishing.
Organizational psychologist Adam Grant aptly defines languishing as a "sense of stagnation and emptiness." If you're languishing, you might find your days devoid of joy and purpose.
In the realm of mental health, psychologists consider well-being on a spectrum, with depression at one end and flourishing at the other. Flourishing represents the pinnacle of well-being, marked by a deep sense of meaning, mastery, and purpose. On the contrary, depression is the nadir of well-being, characterized by despondency, exhaustion, and feelings of worthlessness.
Adam Grant beautifully described languishing as the "neglected middle child of mental health," residing between depression and flourishing, where well-being is notably absent.
Languishing at work
If you're languishing at work, you might experience stagnation, emptiness, and a pervasive sense of boredom. Languishing often leads to a lack of motivation and a tendency to reduce your efforts.
Here are some telltale signs of languishing:
"I know I need a change, but I'm not sure what that change is."
"Work (or life) is okay, but I'm not excited about it."
"I'm grateful to have a job, but it's not something I'm passionate about."
"I want something to change. Why can't I bring myself to do more?"
"What about my role isn't igniting my enthusiasm?"
The path from languishing to thriving or flow
The antidote to languishing is flourishing or being "in flow." Researchers have found that the best predictor of well-being is not optimism but being in a state of flow. However, for many, knowing what it takes to thrive and how to reach that state can be unclear. Thriving doesn't always reside in the realm of productivity or achievements, and you won't necessarily find it on your to-do list.
One thing is certain: you'll recognize thriving when you're in a state of flow. Flow is a state of complete absorption in an activity where you lose track of time and become entirely engrossed in what you're doing.
Peak Flow: Three Elements
There are three key elements to achieving peak flow, as identified by Adam Grant:
Mastery: The strongest motivator for experiencing joy and motivation is a sense of progress. It's about building momentum and celebrating even the smallest wins. Mastery doesn't have to be a monumental achievement; it can be as simple as learning something new for the first time.
Mindfulness: This element involves focusing your complete attention on a single task, providing an uninterrupted period of time—an essential ingredient for achieving flow. Unfortunately, in the modern workplace, most of us struggle to be mindful. Research indicates that people check their emails 74 times a day and switch tasks every 10 minutes. However, when we dedicate ourselves to a single task, we practice flow, and our productivity soars.
Mattering: Mattering involves making a difference to others, even if the impact isn't immediately apparent. It's the feeling that you're helpful, delivering something valuable, or exerting influence. Achieving flow doesn't always mean working in isolation; it can be deeply connected to a meaningful purpose.
What does flow look like?
In the workplace, achieving flow can manifest as:
Engaging in work projects that challenge and engage your mind.
Learning new skills or deepening your expertise.
Collaborating with colleagues to create momentum and success.
Leveraging your strengths to make a positive impact.
At home, thriving can take on various forms:
Deeply connecting with friends and family.
Immersing yourself in nature, music, art, or a good book.
Making a positive impact on someone you care about.
Exploring new activities or engaging in hobbies you enjoy, such as cooking.
How to Cultivate More Thriving in Your Life
Flow can be found if you create space for it.
Admittedly, finding a space for flourishing can be challenging when life presents difficulties like financial concerns, childcare demands, or caring for aging parents. However, thriving can be found in everyday life.
One small step you can take is to create space in your day for thriving. This means carving out actual time on your calendar to focus on something—whether it's an activity that brings you joy or simply a moment of contemplation. It might involve journaling, learning something new, or engaging in deep conversations with someone you truly enjoy.
Understanding the signs of languishing and recognizing the elements of flow—mastery, mindfulness, and mattering—can serve as your guiding lights. While life's challenges may sometimes appear overwhelming, creating space for thriving, even in small doses, is a powerful step towards cultivating well-being at work and at home.
Thriving is more than a state of mind; it's a state of being, where you find joy, purpose, and a sense of fulfillment. By embracing mastery, being mindful, and making a difference, you can unlock the door to your personal path of thriving, and rediscover the vibrant colors life has to offer.
Additional reading
There’s a Name for the Blah You’re Feeling: It’s Called Languishing (The New York Times)
The Other Side of Languishing Is Flourishing. Here’s How to Get There. (The New York Times)